What it's all really about

Writing, like any other craft, requires practice to maintain or improve one’s skill level. This, in turn, is one of the main motivators for my blog. Another intense motivation is to chronicle my journey as a mother and my infant son’s journey as he grows. While I understand I am not the first to have such an experience nor to attempt such a feat, my experiences and how I deal with them and learn from them are indeed unique to me… and my son.


This has been an interesting week. My father flew to Florida not simply to visit a few days, after all it IS really nice weather in FL this time of year, and my folks do live in the much cooler Midwest (Southern Illinois). His trip was a fairly decent sacrifice for him and my mom. He flew to FL so that he could help drive Levi and me and our two dogs to IL while my husband is overseas. For my dad this is a sacrifice because it’s about a 15-hour drive across 5 states. This is a sacrifice for my mom to have Dad away because now Mom is tasked with tending to Gramma. the chickens, dogs, and especially the wood-burning furnace without Dad’s help. So, this trip is kinda a big deal for everyone. Meanwhile, our house sits empty in Florida with only the watchful eyes of our neighbors to take care of it. What a blessing to have such good neighbors!!

We are now about half-way through our drive from Florida to Illinois, and while Dad is driving and the baby is sleeping, I’m left with plenty opportunity for my thoughts to wander.

I took advantage of having Grampa around to look after Levi so I could take care of trying to get my baby sling business up and running (still working on that doggone website!). After a day or so, I noticed that Levi was really taking to his Grampa, which I’m sure my dad found to be particularly rewarding. It got me to thinking about how this all turned out. Dad was initially going to be at my house for only 2 days. But because I had a few opportunities present themselves regarding the sling business, he ended up staying an extra day. He and Levi had some special bonding time that I don’t think they would have had once in Illinois. You see, once in IL at Mom and Dad’s house, besides being busy with his usual chores, Dad would have to compete with Mom for Levi-time! So I think it’s pretty cool that they got to spend a few days together.

On the baby sling front, I get better as I go. I was able to put together 7 slings yesterday… yes, 7! Once I get going, the most time-consuming part is changing the thread in the machine! It’s good that it doesn’t take me very long to make them since Levi, now crawling and pulling himself to stand against just about anything, requires constant supervision. But, yes, there’s always a “but” It was brought to my attention this morning as I watched Levi pull himself up against the couch and stand there so very proud of himself for what he had accomplished. I commented to my dad about what I’d just seen Levi do. Dad informed me that Levi had been doing that all day yesterday. I was so sad as I realized I’d been so busy packing and sewing that I had spent very little time with my son that day.

Dad said to me, “Don’t blink!”

It brought tears to my eyes as I’m reminded every day just how quickly time passes and how fast our babies grow and eventually grow up. But as was emphasized by the sacrifices that my parents are making for me as I write, we are always their children… they are always our parents, no matter our age or theirs. We will continue to give to and make sacrifices for our children as long as we are able. For our heart, once it bursts into parenthood, will never be the same as it once was… and who would want it to?!

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for the blessing of such amazing parents you’ve given me and how much they taught me about parenting. And I thank You also for the opportunity of parenthood and such a wonderfully amazing little boy who teaches me something new every day!

Written: 2009_12_17, 1943hrs

Poor sick baby.

While last night was much better than the night before, he's still coughing up a lung, the poor thing.  Two nights ago, Levi woke up in the middle of the night.  His chest was so tight/congested he could barely breathe!  It was awful!  Of course, he was crying, which only exasperated his congestion... and the pain it was causing me.  I was able to quiet him by nursing him and snuggling with him for a little bit; he went back to sleep.  As it turned out, that scenario played out a few more time before daylight. 
Last night was better, since it was cooler (turned on the AC) and had a humidifier next to his bed.  Today he coughed a lot.  Tonight he's again sleeping with the humidifier.  I'm hoping and praying that he's better tomorrow.  Besides the fact that Grampa is coming to visit tomorrow, Levi REALLY needs to get better before we head North! 
I tell ya, I've heard parents talk about what it was like for them to see or hear their children in pain.  I never really understood that heart-wrenching feeling they were talking about... until now.  There are so many things about being a parent that you can only somewhat understand until you actually live the experience.  I never knew how full my heart could be for the love of another... so full it feels as though it could burst!  Well, it doesn't burst, but does usually cause tears to spill from my eyes :)  I love my little boy, and I hope he's feeling better tomorrow.

focus!!

I seem to be having trouble focusing lately.  Since I made up my mind to be an entreprenuer, I'm torn.  I invested all this money to professionalize my resume biz with business cards and website, and this whole baby sling thing has taken off on its own.  The slings are fun to make and, well, easy to sell because I'm pretty passionate about babywearing.  The resumes on the other hand... I just can't seem to get my mind wrapped about it.  I know it's just a matter of sitting down with my notes and writing, but it's more fun to shop for different fabrics and imagine new ways to individualize each sling!  So here it is again, WAY to late, and the resume isn't written and my sling website crashed on me again, so it's not done yet either ugh! 
On a much more positive note, hubby called tonight.  He's doing well.  Says things are kinda slow over there and it's been kinda rainy, but things are good.  Miss him.

I used to be an employee, now I'm a mom and entrepreneur.

I can de-stress your job search by writing you a winning resume and other related documents.
I am a babywearer & support and encourage babywearing by selling my BABY SLINGS BY AJ.

Not sure where to start...

... so I'll just start typing.  This blog is about me: a wife, new mother, former employee, small business owner... friend, daughter, sister, aunt, daughter-in-law.  There will be rants about all sorts of things pertaining to the various hats I wear.  My son is already seven months old, so I can't say this is a chronology of his life... well, some of his life.  Mostly, this is an opportunity for me to write, to put into words the many streams of thought in my head.  I spend the majority of most days with my infant son, void of adult conversation.  I can go days without hearing a news headline of any sort -- such a sharp contrast from the requirements of my previous job as an intelligence analyst!  I remember saying how much I longed for the days when I didn't have to read and hear about war all day long... it SO nice!  And that I have replaced war with the sound of my son's laughter... wow!  I sometimes miss being a professional, having people pay attention to what I say and write, but then I look at the smile on my son's face when he sees me walk into the room, and I'm reminded of all the things I hated about my previous profession -- the politics, the deadlines, the publication processes, the commute, the traffic, parking.  I really don't miss my job at all; the money was nice and it afforded me the opportunity to stay home with my son for his first year, but I have these other ventures now.  I don't think I'll make what I was, but I'm much happier now!
So, this is about me -- who I am, the struggles I face.  I know I'm not the first new mom to resign from her job to care for her child, nor will I be the last; nonetheless, my particular situation and struggles are unique to me.  Thank you for allowing me my space... to write.